Reviews
Jon Stewart’s hilariously savage 3-minute rant against Chicago-style pizza never gets old
If you thought pineapple on pizza was controversial, just wait til you hear Jon Stewart's thoughts on Chicago-style. 😂
Luis Gaskell
07.27.22

People can have some strong opinions on pizza. There’s the old stereotype of the Italian who disapproves of commercial-style pizza, and we all know the discussion on whether pineapples go on pizza.

Yeah, pizza can bring out the best and the worst in people. Pretty ironic for such a universally-beloved dish.

Pexels - ROMAN ODINTSOV
Source:
Pexels - ROMAN ODINTSOV

There are a whole lot of pizza chains around too. Domino’s, Pizza Hut, Papa John’s, DiGiorno’s, you name it. With that much pizza accessible to anyone who can order it, there are bound to be people with strong preferences.

Well, Jon Stewart has some pretty strong opinions on a particular kind of pizza.

YouTube screenshot - FoixProductions
Source:
YouTube screenshot - FoixProductions

We know Stewart as a comedian and talk show host. His experience in those two skills means that when he was something to say, he’ll be darned sure to get his point across.

And Stewart had more than one point to get across about Chicago-style or “deep dish” pizza.

Spoiler: He doesn’t like it.

The topic came up via a little feud between New York pizza vs. Chicago-style pizza. Stewart went out of his way to say that not only were people wrong that Chicago-style pizza is better but that it just wasn’t pizza in the first place.

YouTube screenshot - FoixProductions
Source:
YouTube screenshot - FoixProductions

Yes, that bowl-like crust and the liberal usage of tomato sauce just don’t sit right with Stewart.

And honestly, I can see most of us agreeing with him. How does a pizza go from a pie shape to whatever that is?

It’d be more fitting to call it a casserole, he says. And one of the more insulting aspects of the deep-dish pizza to Stewart is the arrangement of the cheese.

YouTube screenshot - FoixProductions
Source:
YouTube screenshot - FoixProductions

Rather than have the cheese on top like normal, it instead sits underneath the tomato sauce layer.

This is akin to blasphemy, according to Stewart.

But there is actually an interesting reason for this.

Thanks to the pizza having way more dough in it, it requires longer times in the oven.

And cheese placed on top would burn since it needs more oven time than a normal pizza.

TNVWBOY on Wikimedia commons - CC BY 2.0
Source:
TNVWBOY on Wikimedia commons - CC BY 2.0

So into the middle layer, the cheese goes, with the marinara sauce on top.

Indeed, whoever started the Chicago-style pizza liked the crust and tomato sauce a bit too much.

YouTube screenshot - FoixProductions
Source:
YouTube screenshot - FoixProductions

Though that cheese might get burnt either way, with how much heat Stewart is giving the pizza with this rant.

If only we knew who truly invented the Chicago-style pizza. Then we’d know who to blame. But the pioneer of the recipe is a mystery- at least, according to Wikipedia.

“Let me tell you something. This is not pizza. This is tomato soup in a bread bowl!” – Stewart exclaims angrily

YouTube screenshot - FoixProductions
Source:
YouTube screenshot - FoixProductions

Oh, and that’s not the worst insult Stewart leveled at the “pizza”.

He went a step further and described it as “An above-ground marinara swimming pool for rats”.

But it wouldn’t hurt to try one sometime.

Compared to a conventional pizza, Chicago-style pizza’s much sturdier crust invites more options for toppings.

And while this may seem obvious in hindsight, you can’t eat this with your hands. You’ll need a spoon and fork for this pizza.

YouTube screenshot - FoixProductions
Source:
YouTube screenshot - FoixProductions

If you ever fancy giving Chicago-style pizza a try, I suggest you not tell anyone.

Lest you be on the receiving end of a rant like this.

Watch Jon Stewart’s hilarious rant about Chicago-style pizza in the video below!

Please SHARE this with your friends and family.

By Luis Gaskell
hi@sbly.com
Luis Gaskell is a contributor at SBLY Media.
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